


you said i didn’t love you, well i did

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cheating, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, a little bit of self-deprecation, changlix cheating on seung and jinnie w each other, some angst i guess?, which is not cool dude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23166139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: felix doesn’t care that it feels like he needs changbin and that changbin could just discard him.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, minor seunglix & changjin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	you said i didn’t love you, well i did

**Author's Note:**

> writing changlix for the clout 😎

felix has been getting the urge to unblock his number sometimes. just to see if he’s said anything new, if he still thinks about him, or if they were completely distant now. the urge appears mostly out of nowhere, and stays settled in his mind for a good while. when seungmin comes in and plants a sweet kiss on his lips as a greeting, he snaps out that urge with a guilty concious, feeling more stupid than anything. he’d curl into seungmin who would give him an amused smile in return. seungmin would say to him in english, “you are too cute.” felix would snuggle closer, chest crushing in shame. he’d breathe in seungmin’s comfort, and let the thoughts of seo changbin fade into the back of his mind. 

X ._. X

he caves in. of course he does because it’s been six months since they broke up and only two months with seungmin, but felix is hating himself for thinking of changbin, so he unblocks his number. for closure. for closure and nothing else. and there it is, a message from a month ago, small and tempting. ‘can we talk?’ it says. felix is tired of hating himself and he doesn’t want seungmin hurt, so he types, ‘let’s talk.’ 

when it sends, he shuts off his phone, tosses it aside, and returns to the nap he was taking with seungmin, warm, comfortable, safe, sure. a week later, changbin responds with a date and location. 

X ._. X

he didn’t tell seungmin he’d be sitting across seo changbin in a cafe, facing him, and observing with pursed lips because of just how handsome changbin was. honestly, seungmin was just as handsome, but felix knew there was a certain aspect to changbin’s appearance that naturally attracted him more. in the way he held himself, appeared calm and confident. even if felix knew how cute he could be, he loves the way changbin exudes masculinity, from his built arms to his crooked smirk.

but whatever. changbin is handsome and felix can’t keep his eyes off him. so what? well, felix was only there in hope for some closure even if he told seungmin he’d be babysitting his friends dog. or something. 

changbin looks up after sending a message on his phone. “sorry, it’s just hyunjin.” 

“your boyfriend?” felix asks, and he wants to slap himself. changbin just nods. 

“felix, i want to say sorry.” 

“sorry for what? not loving me? you don’t need to be sorry for how you feel.” it feels bitter the way those words crawl out his lips. 

changbin scoffs a little, and felix doesn’t know if it’s self-depreciative or aimed at him. “i did love you.” memories of changbin’s hesitance and avoidance resurface. changbin’s discomfort with felix’s hugs and touch. it all fades and blends into one nasty feeling in felix’s mind. 

“ok, well, it sure didn’t feel like it.” 

changbin doesn’t say anything, just stares at felix for a while, and felix feels both awkward and just a bit satisfied at having his attention. but everything feels so wrong. he shouldn’t want his attention on him. he feels just a little pathetic, even more so when changbin reaches out his hands, holds his, looks at him with his dark eyes and says, “come over to my place. i missed spending time with you.” 

felix knows what changbin really means and hates himself for agreeing. 

X ._. X

the bedroom is heady. felix kisses changbin like he’s oxygen and changbin touches him like he’s his. possessive hands grip at felix’s hips and waist, guiding him, leaving red behind that makes felix dizzy. felix doesn’t care for anything except the pleasure he feels and changbin’s dark eyes on him, just on him, filling him up equally as good. felix doesn’t even care that he feels the same as six months ago, like changbin owns him and felix needs him. like changbin can discard him, and felix can’t live without his touch. he feels pathetic that he’s in love with changbin’s attention, his hands, eyes, smell, him, him, him. all of that love and want for changbin climaxes in felix, inside and out, and he trembles in changbin’s grip, open, helpless, vulnerable. just the same, as always. 

X ._. X

it’s morning, and they’re cuddled, but changbin shakes him awake. felix wakes with drowsy eyes, and when he meets changbin’s, he feels his heart skip a beat, then sink. he both regrets, and doesn’t. 

“hyunjin, is coming over today. you should go,” he whispers. it hurts worse than it should, but more than anything, he feels stupid. felix feels dirty and used, but doesn’t say anything and nods. he dresses himself, and he feels changbin’s eyes on him again, and he feels stupid for loving his attention. 

when he’s at the door, changbin grabs his elbow, pulls him closer with a strong tug, and kisses him deeply. then changbin pulls away, and it takes a moment for felix to open his eyes again. “i’ll see you later,” he says. felix nods in response and leaves the apartment. pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. 

X ._. X 

felix knocks on the apartment door he shares with his boyfriend and longtime roomate. seungmin opens the door and smiles brightly, bringing felix into a tight hug. “you’re alive! and you ignored my message,” he says, and felix laughs lightly. he can just hear seungmin’s cute pout in his voice. 

“yeah, my phone died and there was no charger available. i couldn’t even take pictures of the puppies,” felix says into seungmin’s shoulder, glad for a second that he couldn’t see his face when he lies. he almost feels like crying, but feels better when seungmin kisses the top of his head. 

“it’s ok,” seungmin comforts, pulling them into the apartment and closing the door behind them. “let’s just adopt our own,” he says with an honest, open smile. felix returns a smile as well. 

“sounds like a great idea, minnie,” he responds, and he lets the thoughts of seo changbin fade into the back of his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> seunglix and changjin would never cheat on each other 😡😡😡😡


End file.
